Sorry Mom, I Went on a Boat with a Stranger in Coromandel

If you haven’t seen movies like Taken, Taken 2, Turistas and Hostel let me sum it up for you briefly. They’re movies you shouldn’t let your mother see the week before you set off on an around the world trip. The moral of the movies is, don’t trust friendly strangers because they’re only out to kill you. Noted.

Cue yesterday. Dinner at a local restaurant in a small town. Introduce the friendly local waiter who tells us about cool spots in New Zealand that only the locals know about. Note him giving us a piece of paper with his number on it telling us to call him tomorrow so he could take us out on his boat.

Continuing along with this horror movie waiting to happen, we agreed to meet Hayden in town and drive out to the bay so we could go on his boat with him and his friends and he could show us a cool uninhabited island that’s only accessible by boat. Mmmhmm.

When we got to the dock we met Hayden’s friends who turned out to be a couple and a small child. I think that’s how they lure you in in the movies with illusions of safety.  While Aracely and I wouldn’t be subject to the charms of two attractive or slutty women, we would be susceptible to an adorable little child with an Australian accent. Anyway, onward and outward.

Hayden loaded us up into the boat, and apparently he was the only one who knew anything about yachting/sailing (still don’t know the difference). While the 6 of us jumped onto the boat and stared in awe, Hayden hopped around on the starboard? port? mast? (I’m great at sailing) and deftly maneuvered the rope and sails to get us moving into the open waters.

This being my first time on a sail boat, and having shared the information that I have no idea how to swim, our captain kindly made us all wear life jackets – so I guess drowning at sea wasn’t his murder/torture of choice. On the other hand, if he was trying to scare us a bit so that we’d be more adept to trust and rely on him, he did a great job of making huge swells in the water and having an extra windy day that turned the boat close to parallel to the water. Despite this, Hayden seemed calm and collected, stating that this was normal sailing conditions for him and that we shouldn’t fret. Aye aye Captain.

About an hour later we arrived at the deserted island whose only apparent inhabitants were sheep and cows judging from the petrified feces all over the beach – and there may possibly have been people at one time since there was an abandoned house just off the shore. Which would be great for killing people in case any other boats came by.  We were off to a good start.

Fortunately, as it turned out, Captain Hayden was in fact a nice guy that just wanted to show some tourists a nice lunch of sandwiches and wine in Coromandel on a deserted island. The beach trip went completely uneventfully except for the little kid who kept picking up sheep shit and showing it to his parents.

Kid: Look!
Dad: That’s poo, put that down.
Kid: No it’s not! (picks up more poop) Look what I found!

So aside from the “horrific” beginning to the story, it ended up being a really nice day out. I do have to say, if there’s anything I’m going to really remember about New Zealand it’s going to have to be the colors of the water. From afar while we were on the road it was already a beautiful shade of turquoise-green but I figured once in or on it the color would look completely different. Not the case, if anything the color of the water increased in intensity once we were floating upon it in the yacht, and it was clear and cool when we went swimming on the beach. I know this sounds spacey and hippie-ish, but if I could feel any color while gliding over the water in a boat, it would be the color of New Zealand waters.

NZ north 103
jumping for joy at not being kidnapped

After the trip Hayden had to go back to work and we were supposed to meet him to say bye before I took to the road for the first time.  That would be me driving in the wrong side of the car, on the wrong side of the road – so basically we produced a higher chance of us dying than when we had gone with Hayden on the boat . Unfortunately he ended up being pressed for time so we never got to say goodbye or thank you, so if for any knows Hayden from the Pepper Tree, tell him the asshole New Yorkers who went out on his boat and then disappeared without saying goodbye say bye and thank you!

So ultimately the trip was pretty uneventful except I did get to check “Make friends with someone with a boat and get them to take me out on it” off my list of shit I wanted to do on the trip. Anyone out there have a plane?

NZ north 102


2 thoughts on “Sorry Mom, I Went on a Boat with a Stranger in Coromandel

  1. You are really good at this.. I mean, not just the trip thing, but you have some talent at story telling that I can actually admire. Now, as far as having a plane is concerned, if flying on a small trembling aircraft over the paris region area is what will get you going with the same enthousiasm as what you have described so far, I’ve got the friend who can make it happen if you ever pass by Paris. (Not straight over Paris, we would probably be kindly escorted by the air force before being heavily fined or jailed).

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